Bush on Immigration
Acknowledging the contributionals of our guested workers
El Profe Loco
For those that missed it, here is the full text from the President's recent speech on immigration:
Published on LatinoLA: January 15, 2004
"Fellow Americans, as your Chief Expletive I'm requesting that our Congressionals pass new legislatures to improve emigration.....uh, immigration.....uh, you know what I mean. We are a nation of emigrants and if it weren't for emigration, many bird specialties would not be able fly south to warmer guesting spots in order to survival and contribution to our environment.
Our nation needs to provide expropriate shelter, food, and medical care for the millions of emigrants that come here to work and better their liveliness. They contraband to our economy; they provide essences services - let's face it, they do our dirty work!
American businesses depend on this supply of economicalness labor. Many businesses and industrials depend on these guesting workers as a value workforce....and we all know that what is good for business is good for our economicals and our nation. A healthy economical is the key to a strong nation. If it weren't for our nation's great industrials, we would not have strategious supplies for our essentialed armed forces and there would be no stockmarket for speculationship. As Commander In Charge of our armied forces, I can tell you that every army travels on it's stomach - unless, of course, they are sitting down or standing up....I'm not sure about when they are asleep? Hmmm, what about if they are kneeling to pray??.....the bathroom????
Uh.....where was I.......oh, yeah.....emigration reformings. It is time that our national policy refutes our founding principalities as a nation of emigrants. We are all from emigrant families - except the Natural Americans - the only folks indigentnous to this land - and God bless 'em for all those casinos that bring in tax revenuers and stimulus our economy. Whether your kin are from Europe, or Africa, or Hawaii, or other incontinents - we are all in this melted pot together.
Therefore.....uh.....therefore......I call upon Congress to pass new legislatures to provide a new legal status quo for emigrant laborers - we'll call 'em ?guested workers?. They will be eligibled for essential services such as health care, public education and police and fire protective. If these guested workers are gonna labor every day for 12 hours, we gotta keep 'em healthy.
Many of you are concerned about the issue of amistad.....uh....am.....amnesty - that's the ticket! Well, this new legislature will not have a amnesty provisional. Citizenship is a sacred values, and while we want these guested workers to be fit and able, voting and other citizenship priviledgeds will be reserved for those emigrants who got here first - the early bird gets the worm and a bird in the bushes is handy....finders keepers, losers weepers...nanya, nanya, nya, nya.
Why, on my ranch in Crawford, Texas, we could not begin to maintain all the superstructure associated with a ranching operational if it weren't for our wet....uh....our illicit alie....oh, yeah, I almost forgot, our guested workers. And don't forget how much we all like those strawberries, grapes, tomatoes, and other agricultured crops essential to our nation's nutritionalness.
I will be meeting soon with President Fox.....I wonder how did he ever get a red-white-and-blue American name??.....hmmm, I wonder if he owns that TV network? We will discussing the drug cuartels, making our mutual borders securitied, biliteral trade, NAFTA, and emigration. Mexico is one of our largest trading partners, and they have some damn fine food too. If it weren't for our Mexican emigrants there would be no Taco Bell or Apoyo Loco. In my home state of Texas we would not have faheedos, enchilupas, or Doritos if it were not for the contributionals of our guested workers from south of the Border.......Good night.
El Profe Loco:
El Profe Loco is a Califas Chicano. He has written extensively on local, regional, and national issues affecting Chicanos and Raza. He may be reached via email at: email@example.com