?Trucha! ?VacaLoca!

Mad Cow disease threatens Hispanic food choices

By El Profe Loco
Published on LatinoLA: January 16, 2004

?Trucha!  ?VacaLoca!

The U.S. government recently announced the first step in reducing the U.S. Hispanic population - by prohibiting essential Hispanic foods. In a move camouflaged as a bogus health issue, the U.S. Dept. of Agriculture is prohibiting foods essential to the Hispanic diet: tripas, sesos, and cabeza. (Filipinos will be additionally impacted by the ban on cow eyes; however, African-Americans will still be able to buy pork chitlins and ears).

The U.S.D.A. implemented new restrictions on the nation?s beef supply. Certain parts of cattle will no longer be available in the nation?s food supply: Parts from the central nervous systems including brains, eyes, testilcles, parts of the alimentary canal including intestines, and other portions of cattle will no longer be sold to the public.

?Mad-cow? (aka VacaLoca) disease can invade all parts of infected cattle, not just the tripas and sesos. That is why other countries such as Britain and most of the European Union banned ALL cattle products. Notice that T-bones, New York steaks, sirloins, ribs (for you soul-food enthusiasts), roasts, hamburger, and other forms of beef popular among the Anglo population are not covered in the U.S.D.A ban. Do you think that McDonald's has not arranged for preferential treatment for their hamburgers? Also, no mention is made of bologna and hot-dog wieners which typically contain beef ?parts?. Why not? It is obvious; this is not a health issue; it is simply a thinly-disguised attempt to encourage Hispanics to leave the U.S.A.! Raza, ponte trucha! - menudo is next, then carne asada.

Border towns will soon see hordes of U.S.-based Hispanics crossing into Mexico to satisfy their cravings for tripas and sesos. Ignore news broadcasts that Mexico has embargoed U.S. beef ? the Mexicano will always find a way around inconvenient restrictions. The hordes of Hispanos seeking to satisfy their food?based ?jones? in Mexico will be a boon to the Mexican economy which will enjoy a major influx of badly needed U.S. dollars.

We cannot even measure the huge new clandestine industry that will evolve as Mexican cartels expand their contraband smuggling to include tripas and sesos. (Hey, vato - can you score me some brains?).

Send $5 (plus $55 shipping and handling; cash only) to El Profe for your own ?Chale Con Vaca-Loca? kit. You will receive stylish bumper stickers and posters: ?Honk, If You Eat Intestines?, ?Don't Take Away My Brains?, ?I Have Intestinal Fortitude (literally!)?, and ?No Guts, No Glory?.

A CD with these musical hits will also be included: ?Baby, Take My Heart But Not My Brains?, ?I Spilled My Guts Over You - But Hopefully Not On You?, and ?Gimme Back My Brains, 'Cause I'm Feelin' Light Headed?, ?Te Traigo Mis Tripas?, ?Ya No Tengo Sesos?, ?Perd? Los Sesos, Pero No Mi Mente?, ?No Tire Las Tripas?.

(The first five requests will receive the bonus CD: ?Get Your Shiite Together? by Big Mama & The BagDads).

No seas sonso; demand your rights; protect your home. Call and write your congressman and demand the return of your brains and guts!

About El Profe Loco:
El Profe Loco resides in Califas and ManitoLandia (NM). He writes on issues affecting Chicanos and Raza. He may be contacted at: elprofeloco@cox.net

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