Much Ado About Nothing

Super Bowl Sunday and Janet Jackson's right breast

By Gil Contreras
Published on LatinoLA: February 3, 2004

Much Ado About Nothing Super Bowl Sunday, it?s a good game, and then half-time. The music starts, P Diddy raps, Nelly sings, Justin dances and Janet...well, Janet gets one of her breasts partially exposed during a dance number. Now, I?m no big Janet fan, and frankly, with new blood on the block like Beyonce and Alicia Keyes, who really cares what Janet has done for us lately? So half-time ends, the game continues...New England wins! Whoohoo!

I wake up the next day and find that somehow Janet?s tit has become a major news story. Even the venerable Nightline covers Super Bowl 38?s (pardon the pun), ?36 C moment.? All the conservative talk hacks are whacking away at the NFL, MTV, CBS, Janet, Justin, and all red blooded Americans (that?s right?no race necessary) who appreciate Janet coming out of obscurity for three minutes to remind us just how fine she was back in the day!

Michael Powell (you know who?s son) head of the FCC says there will be an ?investigation!? Conservative talk show hosts are appalled at the decadence of American society. I even heard one nerd say, if it were up to him, Disney (producers of some of the sickest, weirdest, demonic stories masked as kids cartoons ever) would produce every Super Bowl half-time show in the future! Whatever happened to the good ole days when America thought Bob Hope was entertainment, they lamented?!

I was shocked! What was all the flap over Janet?s nipple anyway? Federal investigation? I even heard ?conservative callers? on the radio talking about boycotts and petitions! What the hell is going on? I rely on my liberal left-leaning friends to make mountains out of societal mole hills, like the, ?hey, lets make driver?s licenses for illegal immigrants an issue,? to give me things to write about! I listen to KPFK 90.7 FM (my old station) in the morning because they have moved so far to the left, that I now pick them up at 88.1 where I used to get KLON!

I thought for sure Dr. Rudy Acu?a, Nativo Lopez or State Senator Gil Cedillo would call for a demonstration and march on city hall to raise awareness about how the affluent in America still have more opportunities to bare their breasts (or at least one) on television than Chicano/Latinos, people of color (excludes Jackson family), and the undocumented. They should all have access; these are the people?s airwaves! I was sure the AFL/CIO, SEIU, and maybe even the UFCW would call for a boycott on 60 Minutes, Punk?d and Jackass! Maybe those striking grocery workers (whose jobs have been replaced while they ?take a stand? outside) could just change their signs!

Perhaps the ACLU would file a lawsuit, I thought, to help poor people and people of color gain greater access to the television airwaves, I mean, what will the children think if only affluent people can get so much face time on TV? Shouldn?t they see people just like them on TV baring breasts too...where?s the equality for God?s sakes? Is this America or Amerika?

Lighten up conservative guys; you?re starting to sound like the left! Whiny, worried about ?the children,? and seeing ?signs? of the end of the world everywhere! Geez, where?s our sense of humor? The sky isn?t falling! And besides, most football games are watched by guys who watch MTV (not CBS), think Punk?d is funny, love any bare breast, and have been known to lay a politically incorrect fart during the half-time show anyway. It's just football, not rocket science. The world won?t come to a halt because some 8 year old kid caught a 2 second glimpse of Janet?s semi-covered nipple on a 19? screen.

Neilsen says 140 million Americans watched the game on Sunday, which means another 140 million didn?t. Who cares? Besides, we have bigger battles to wage than this. Governor Scwarzenegger?s upcoming bond initiative to ?balance the budget,? for example, Howard Dean?s war cries, and the November election are all good ones. We have troops in Iraq, troops in Afghanistan, and homeland security issues to concern ourselves with. Talk about retired U.S. Army General Wesley Clark, if you want to, who made a career out of war, ran the School of the America?s at Fort Bragg, and is now running for president on an anti-war message. Geez, there?s plenty to talk about!

Let?s not, however, take a cue from the left and become so paranoid and engrossed in ideology that we sound like we?ve lost our sense of humor as well as our common sense.

About Gil Contreras:
Gil Contreras is an award winnng journalist, ex-cop and writer living the Vida Loca in Los Angeles! Email:

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