The Chasing of Wind

Tornado tontos

By Al Carlos Hernandez
Published on LatinoLA: August 11, 2004

The Chasing of Wind

We were watching the news the other night when they showed a couple who were incredulous because their mini van was severely damaged as they got all caught up, nearly spin dried and tossed into another Midwestern state by the tornado they were chasing.

This begs the question, why where they chasing the tornado in the first place?

The back windows of their vehicle were blown out, their hair was accidentally LA club chic, the van was filled with even more eclectic debris, and the man kept saying he was flooring it to get away, but as he drove away, with the storm was hot on his heels, they felt the back end of the van being sucked up into the air, as if the tornado turned on them and had them in its grip.

After a few horrific minutes they finally successfully outran the tornado, but I like to think that the tornado was gracious, and let them go so the Mini Vansters could tell their like minded friends that when nature wants to have a hissy fit, you best lay low and mind your own business.

This huge sucking vacuum sound phenomenon that the couple heard, could also be a result of campaign related talk radio being blasted out of his radios house speakers duct taped and chicken wired to the back seat of Jethro?s Caravan.

Flooring a mini van while being caught in the thunder suck of a tornado is like being pulled out of the mud by your head by a rented donkey. A slow muculent lubricous and annoying process for the donkey.

I don?t understand the mentality of semi-pros or rural hobbyists, proactively messing with the majestic mighty forces of nature. It seems clear to me that modern life especially during an election year has enough ignominious problems without arming your low life with high tech devices looking for Biblical trouble.

The objective of twister chasing for skilled professionals is to gather valuable date on the physics of this phenomenon, so that such weather anomalies can be predicted so people can be give fair warning and lives can be saved, big up for legitimate science.

All things being equal, nature by its nature empirical; Tornados do not racially profile trailer parks. Trailer parks just happen to be in the traditional places where tornados like to frequent.

Didn?t these folks see the Tornado movie where the cow went flying past Mad About You?s wife? Or The Wizard of Oz before Dorothy became a celebrated Gay Icon?

I?ve noticed that there are very few ethnic storm chasers and or citizenry who make it a practice to stick their domes in the mouths of alligators, or play double Dutch jump rope with rattlesnakes. Most of us are at work, looking for work or working two jobs, so we don?t have the time to tempt fate and or make cute for Real TV.

The thrill junkies who do this sort of thing probably hope to sell the video to news organizations, and get their fifteen minutes of fame. Ironically when artist Andy Warhol coined the fifteen minutes of fame philosophy, he said it tongue in cheek in a sarcastic kind of way meaning that because of the pervasiveness of pop culture most people will by lifestyle, get famous for fifteen minutes, because of the fickleness of shock media and rapidly changing pop culture trends.

Un-official tornado chasing isn?t art imitating life rather, ignorance imitating fame.

Reality TV feeds people?s morbid curiosity about being in the eye of death humiliation and destruction. Some thrill seekers seem to challenge fate in order to feel more alive, that?s why sports are getting more extreme.

It?s been said that ?It is impossible to have fun unless you are scared?, but I no longer buy it. We are losing touch with the sanctity of life, and relegate the loss of life in war like a scorecard, or a tally on a video game, high score wins.

The high score loses. It is time to tell the political hobbyists to stop the war and bring our brothers and sisters home with honor.

?You don?t need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows?.

About Al Carlos Hernandez:
Al Carlos does not visit the midwest.

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