I remember it all very clearly, the way the events of last night unfolded. I just don't remember clearly what was said. Never in my life have I ever placed so much trust, faith and love in anyone like this person. If in life there is one person one cherishes with true love, it is she who consumes mine. And just the same it is she who I have managed to hate as much as to feel my gut discard every single trace of optimism by the very mentioning of her name. This is how I know I love her so much. Otherwise, I wouldn't have the passion to feel anything for her. Strange, isn't it. But how strange is it really to hate whom you love? Love and hate go hand in hand with just about everthing that needs balance, man and woman, fire and water, day and night, hot and cold, mind and heart, and flor y canto; the external vs. internal factors.
Last night I knew that we had argued to the extreme unlike never before. I thought I needed to say everything I had to because it might be the last time we speak. My mind was racing for thoughts to shoot at her. I didn't want to hurt her but I know I did. What she said isn't important. What matters now is that it hurt. But today I have a different feeling. I feel better now. Maybe I shouldn't have said the things I said. In fact, I know I shouldn't have. I need to speak to her because for now, one thing I know is true. I need her in my life. I think we have played this game before. But the outcome is always different. I hope she has the patience to listen to me. Something is hinting to me that it was her fault and that I shold wait for her to call. There is something wrong with this line of thought. The truth is, I will be devastated if she doesn't call. My pride has shielded me from pain many times, but this time it could be my demise. Can I stand alone? Does she feel the same passion I feel? Listen to your heart. I'll call her. Today, my heart wins again.
Excerpt from "Sounds of Distant Trains", a self-published collection of short stories, poems, songs and thoughts.
4/6 - 4:00PM to 5:00PM - Literature
Los Angeles writer Martin Nava will be reading from his work including his self-published book "Sounds of Distant Trains."
Venue: Tia Chucha's Cultural Cafe
Address: 12737 Glenoaks Blvd., #22 , Sylmar
For more information call: (818) 362-7060
Or visit: http://www.tiachucha.com
Martin Nava is a self-published writer. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org