Simple Thoughts

Gay doesn't always mean happy

By Oscar Hernandez
Published on LatinoLA: January 31, 2005

Simple Thoughts

It?s tiring to live in an antagonistic society. So many of us fall under its wrathful grasp. It?s tiring to see the world go by and so many of us being left behind. The world perceives us as a threat to its stability, to its homogenous claim of heterosexuality being the only right and healthy sexuality. When homosexuality is nothing more than the mere reflection of the hetero man or the hetero woman.

We find ourselves coming home from work, school, the streets, with blood running down our cheeks. We find ourselves always reaching for a moist cloth to clean the blood, the red blood that has already thickened and dried. We find ourselves always in need of a space to run, to hide, and to pretend that everything is fine. It?s not!

We encounter many minds clouded with ignorance, sharpened with a millennia of hatred and stupidity. Most people will never understand, even if they try to. It?s tiring to find oneself surrounded by so many labels. It only takes three words, one sentence, and everyone?s perception of oneself changes dramatically. We are thrown to the darkest and deepest dungeon. Far below the murderers and just one-step above the pedophiles. We are scum and we are expected to act that way. We are a danger to every living thing.

Children hear it in elementary school and they sharpen their hatred for those that they perceive as ?different.? It grows as they hear the many accusations and the many words of disgust. They pass the same hatred, the same jokes, the same accusations to their children, and their children to their children, it becomes a never-ending circle of ignorance.

Those who find ourselves on the opposite side of the coin throw ourselves into a never-ending abyss of self-hatred and self-pity. We are worth nothing and we accept it. We lead our lives always with the thought that we deserve nothing but the leftovers, the minor crumbs of the heterosexuals. Even in romantic relationships many of us find ourselves going from partner to partner, going from one physical relationship to the next, always trying to get whatever sentimental stability we can find, and never finding it. We fail, it fails and we give up. We accept that the only feeling any gay man or woman can feel is the tingling inbetween our legs, and we lead our lives that way. But it doesn?t have to be that way. We deserve better!

We deserve, just as much as any other person, to find the emotional stability of romance. We are worthy of being great, let us strive for greatness, forget and prove wrong all those comments we heard as we were growing up. Let us prevail and show the world that our sexual orientation is nothing compared to the greatness of our souls and selves. Let us prove to ourselves that we are far more than just being gay!

Because gay doesn?t always mean happy.

About Oscar Hernandez:
Current college student, who is trying to make it. Any one can contact me at alex200063@yahoo.com

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