Major Camera Time

Hanging out with Jimmy Kimmel

By Al Carlos Hernandez
Published on LatinoLA: February 7, 2005

Major Camera Time

We were in Hollywood on business and stayed at the legendary Roosevelt Hotel, across the street from the famous Chinese theatre with the patchwork icon footprints and bronze stars with gum tattoos on the sidewalk.

They say that the hotel is haunted, but since my wife and I are Pentecostals, ?Ghosts? are more afraid of us, so a mi no importa, all we saw were a couple of wall eyed Russian valet parkers, that player hated our SUV who we suspect ate all of our trail mix.

I secured tickets online to the Jimmy Kimmel show, which is located down the street from the hotel, next to The Capitan theatre across the street from the Kodak Academy Awards place. If it was awards night our room would have cost $700 hundred bucks, and our only claim to fame would be that we were probably the only real Latinos that close to the Oscar ceremony, who were not caterers.

I remember Kimmel from The Man Show, a remedial hedonistic effort that encouraged beer drinking in the audience, which was quickly cancelled after the Fear Factor guy took over. We choose the Kimmel show because, it was close and free, I also wanted to give his team ?Props? for using the mighty Tower of Power horn section on a show last year, which ironically was the first and last time I?ve seen the Kimmel show.

We stood in the cold for 45 minutes, with a group of younger tourists dressed for the beach, while the Grapevine was closed to due a major snowstorm. You cannot wear all white or a rock t-shirt, one messes up the camera the other messes up the advertising. Two potential audience members were asked to get stepping.

Snaking two by two into the facility was similar to the Dave Letterman experience with a west coast flavor, read, no one was really impressed to be there except the blue kneed, purple lipped preppies from Dog Lick Ohio.

Because of having online reservations, when we came to the front of the line we were supposed to be given front row seating preference. Unlike Letterman, an audience coordinator seats people throughout the small theater by look, ethnicity and age. No doubt, we would be exiled to the nose bleed section near the roof in the back on the porch.

I was wrong; the coordinator a young straight A looking boney blonde sized us up and took us to two seats in the front row, one of the seats had a police styled yellow tape across it.

They sat the lovely Alba in one of the seats and told me that they needed to leave my seat, open because Jimmy was going to use it for a gag, so, Ok I was sent to the nose bleed section after all, but could be seated with Mi Vida until later once there was no chance my cara de Eddie Olmos could be caught on camera ruining their tiny ratings.

The warm-up comic comes in and runs amuck, getting the audience in a silly mood, the band comes in happy to have a steady check. The special guests were Adam Corolla, Jimmy?s former Man show buddy, some guy from the Aviator, and Mannie Fresh the rapper from the cash money crew.

The show starts, Jimmy does his monologue, a paramedic walks in interupting the show saying he is lost with a heart he is supposed to deliver to a dying patient somewhere. He leaves the heart with Jimmy and leaves.

Soon you hear loud laughing and the paramedic is seated next to Alba in my seat. Jimmy starts talking to him as Alba is looking over at this guy with the same look she gives me every time, I want to trade in one the cars. She gets at least three good minutes of network camera time, we have it on tape.

Since the show is in real time, after the last guest, the entire audience is taken to a mock up night club they have in the foyer of the theatre. We all crowd in there where Mannie Fresh, does a tune about him being a rich big timer.

All of the young 98% non-ethnic folks knew the tune and were bobbing their heads while rapping along with the tune; therein lies the key to raps billion dollar popularity. Ya Heard?

I did, it?s not about art or talent it?s about the illusion of success. The late Johnny Carson perfected the art of talk show, everyone else perpetrate.

About Al Carlos Hernandez:
Al Carlos thinks he can do a better job then Kimmel.

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