A White House Recipe

A recipe for disaster

By Roberto Rodriguez
Published on LatinoLA: December 10, 2005

A White House Recipe

Somewhere deeply ensconced in the White House basement, there must be a manual for virtually any kind of war scenario. Perhaps it's filed away covertly as a recipe.

Several years ago, while doing research at the National Archives, I stumbled upon declassified documents from the Cold War era. One was titled: What to do if the U.S. is attacked by the Soviet Union or China in the middle of the night. Another one read: What to do if attacked on Christmas or New Year's Eve.

Nowadays, they seem hilarious; they're all stamped: UTNA (Unleash Total Nuclear Attack). Mind-boggling, but you have to understand the times. Yes, there's one titled: What to do if attacked by [Outer Space] Aliens.

This got me thinking? perhaps the president is simply following instructions from one titled: How to take over the world. No doubt, he must be using the post-911 edition, which probably reads something like this:

"Now that we've been attacked, initiate plans for world domination, i.e.; attack a weak country, preferably Iraq. If you get distracted by Afghanistan, deal with it, then back to Iraq. To do this, you'll need a subterfuge. Call it: The war on terror. Start with the axis of evil: Iraq, Iran and North Korea? then on to Syria, Cuba and Venezuela (avoid nations that can actually threaten the U.S.).

If you run into opposition at home, accuse them of treason and remind them of 911 and your 90 percent approval ratings. Act unilaterally, but use the Brits and a coalition of the willing (willing to do whatever you say). You'll need legal cover: We'll call it the 2002 Bush Doctrine. It asserts the right to wage permanent preemptive wars to bring about U.S. world domination.

On Iraq, let's go with Weapons of Mass Destruction and let's link Osama and Sadaam. If you get opposition from abroad, ignore or stall them until after we invade. If you have to, threaten to withhold, or entice them with, military aid. Also, force them to exempt the U.S. from the International War Crimes Tribunal. If that doesn't work, just threaten them outright and accuse them of siding with the French or the terrorists. Start a Freedom Fries Movement.

To do this, you'll need catchy slogans. You're either with us or against us. Stay the course. And tell them God is guiding you. Suspend civil liberties and invoke martial law, but call it the Patriot Act.

The gloves are now off; you're no longer bound by the Constitution, morals or treaties. If you doubt your ability to achieve world domination, get out of the way as there are others who can do this while you are vacationing or (biking), fortifying yourself mentally.

The key is to wage permanent war via a permanent state of fear. Once achieved, claim that in times of war, no law applies to the Commander in Chief. You can invade, occupy or bombard any country you wish. You can have anyone disappeared or permanently imprisoned without charges, without judicial review and incommunicado. But you still have to create the illusion that you're abiding by laws. When explaining yourself in public, claim that you are bringing about peace and democracy. Change the meanings of words. Create semantical debates. Resort to legalisms. (For instance, when you or Rice say that ?Americans don't torture or condone torture anywhere on earth,? you are being truthful [it still allows for torture by animals or mercenaries in international waters? or over international air space] Ignore or destroy disagreeable reports. Deny their existence. Create forged documents. Destroy anyone who reveals the truth. Assert that human rights apply only to lawful combatants. Ask if they are truly human.

Create secret prisons. Send them to Guantanamo or to friendly countries [where U.S. laws don't apply]. Create military death squads and have them carry out missile strikes, but call them ?targeted assassinations.? Grant them all immunity. If innocents are killed, call them collateral damage. Use depleted uranium and phosphorous weapons. If you get caught, change the definition of the weapons and deny everything. Use repetition.

If the world turns against you, create an enemies list, manipulate [pay] the media and blame your underlings. Fire them. Better yet, reward them. Or change the subject and blame migrants. If someone claims that we can't afford this venture - that we should rebuild the Gulf Coast first - demand more tax benefits for your base and plan the next invasion.

? If there were such instructions, they would no doubt contain a subtitle: A recipe for disaster.

? Column of the Americas 2005

About Roberto Rodriguez:
We can be reached at: 608-238-3161 or or Column of the Americas, PO BOX 5093 Madison WI 53705. Our bilingual columns are posted at:

   print this


Arts & Entertainment Comunidad Forum People El Editor's Blog

Careers Expresate Hollywood Tecnología RSS Feeds