New Policy for Latino Employees

We don't really talk like this, do we?

By Author Unknown
Published on LatinoLA: February 17, 2006

New Policy for Latino Employees

Several visitors to our office have brought to our attention that our Spanish-speaking employees commonly use offensive language. Such behavior, in addition to violating firm practices, is highly unprofessional, offensive both to visitors and employees, and will not be tolerated. We have decided to implement a series of rules in our office and would expect them to be applied. It is expected that ALL employees immediately adhere to these rules.

1 - Words like "cabron", "ah chingado", "como chingas", and other such expressions will not be used for emphasis, no matter how heated the discussion may get.

2 - Non important matters should not be addressed to as "pendejadas".

3 - You will not say "la cago" when someone makes a mistake, or "ya cago el palo" if you see someone being reprimanded. All forms and derivative of the word "cagar" are inappropriate in our environment.

4 - Lack of determination will not be referred to as "falta de huevos", nor will a person with lack of initiative be referred to as "pendejo", "mandilon" or "comemierda".

5 - No Manager or Supervisor, under any circumstances, will be referred to as "hijo de la chingada" or "ese cabron".

6 - When a good proposal is presented, the term "estas son babosadas" must not be used.

7 - Unusual or creative brainstorming meetings will not be referred to as "pinche chingaderas".

8 - Do not say "como jode" if a person is persistent, or "se jodio" if somebody is going through a difficult situation. Furthermore,you must not say "puta madre", or "esto ya valio madre" when matters become complicated in your line of work.

9 - When asking someone to leave you alone, you should not say "vete a la chingada cabron", do not substitute "que chingados quieres?" for "may I help you?"

10- When leaving the office, using the term "me voy a la chingada" is not proper.

11- When any office equipment fails, it must be reported as "it broke down", not as "esta chingadera valio madre", or "se jodio la mierda esta".

12- Last but not least, after reading this memo, please do not say "me voy a limpiar el culo con esto". Just keep it clean and file it properly.

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