By Timoi
Published on LatinoLA: March 9, 2006


So addicted to pain and pain killers but not pills?
I feel so much and see so much?it has been so long and these feelings persist
I say wake up wake up!?but really?if you would wake up in the midst of this era you would die of sadness?
These times are so crucial
The laws have been set for endless times?
The rules of games played have been determined long ago?

My tears are soundless?they are unsalted now?
Asking for my heart to be taken off my chest?

I posses such talent people say?
But the talent that others seek ain?t of true wisdom

Arrogance has been obtained by fools for infinite times leaving me with only a couple of true friends

Wanting to be free of flesh so then I might be able to truly see the true colors in you?
Realizing that color or tone ain?t the matter?but souls of stone.
Remembering who betrayed who from the beginning?
So I ask why?but really without expecting an answer cause who has the answer for me?

I stopped trying long ago?trying to be who I thought I was?
Not letting me be apart or high or below anyone?
Some would say: Hey pretty girl, go out with me and I?ll introduce you to so and so?some would say kick it with me and you?ll be so and so?
I tell you?being real is not easy at all?being the real me?means not just one but many but whole?

So I met many and seen many and felt many?but still all I would want is to be a tree a leaf or just part of the wind?

Some people say oh that person is just too weak?but truly if you were in the shoes of so and so could you reply the same words?
Many read book after book?words of wisdom from true beings yet when they meet one from their time they cannot recognize them?

For if the heart of so and so is sensitive yours might be dull

I see homie down the street, he is homeless?handsome?I say to my self?if only I was strong enough and what I perceived was truly real?I would take you in my arms make you mine and get lost with you?make you see how there is life?but I know your pain is not as mine?
My Creator, I ask to have a private meeting with you. But you deny me?I ask to just see you but you deny me?then I see and I hear you?as you are and all is.

Don?t be mad at me for not wanting to be part of these, but part of the whole?I tell you I have tried to be here and be part of the whole?merely impossible I would say.
As I within myself is rarely satisfied by my own creations?I want to be greater and greater?surely nothing wrong with that?but what when your body wont give you more? And your heart is overwhelmed by it?s existence?
What when the mind has lost control and sends messages to different directions?

Keeping track of some when some never had track of me?I say that fool is so fake?watching all from behind the scenes?truth is I don?t know who is and who is not until the moment you truly cross my path?for if you do I will read you?like a hacker.

I boycott most things and that leaves me really lonely?just imagine I had no physical body and the only being in existence was my heart, this bloody heart?could you truly be it?s friend?

For to be true to mother earth and my brothers and sisters I would do what Jesus did?but what he did has nothing to do with my intentions?

Really I don?t consider people friends for my only friends are the flowers that grow because they just do.

If only the present matters then why do we keep protesting the past expecting the future to be better? Why not boycott the bullshit today?
Many make consciousness a trend?not really being a true friend?
Money makes money?like a virus?so they say.

I have picked and chosen my steps expecting fools to recognize and respect this?yet they blind so how could I expect such? For only the wise can truly approach me and have a word with me?

Some have tasted these lips without realizing the lips they was tasting?

I am not the woman of no bodies dreams
I just am?all I want is to rest in peace and some times it seems that I just want to be in chaos

Truth is I am not here to kiss no ones ass?some say you are talented?you just need to get out there?
HA!?do you know how many idiots are out there? Plenty to take yo money!
I have taken my steps?now I will not settle for minimum wage! For too long this society has taken advantage of me?and I say me cause I represent the ?me?s?.
I work hard?feel hard and I am?so there for don?t be like the rest.

When I had my own things and carried my self sharp as they say?many would mingle with me?when I said I would boycott this hell and all I was left with was my paint canvas and this shell, many who are in a rush to be rich and famous overlooked way past me?and I?m still here. Because this world will come and go and I will be no matter what?even my mother and father have left my side?still loving as they cannot help it?but yet they judge the side of me that is more than what they are receiving?

Expecting you to have faith in me?as you run around chasing the fake income set forth to fool you and have you a slave.

Many sacrificing many things for the sake of being the main attraction in your brain?all I am is a contraction as you feel me?my words? cause somehow you are me.
So I continue?not caring about your scene?your claims? proclaims? your money? not caring what you perceive of me cause what you perceive might be a reflection of the disease in you?
SO I continue?sharing one heart one tongue with the many in a whole.

About Timoi:
Timoi is just Timoi....and yes I am a woman...

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