I Have Died Many Times

Forgiveness and Self Love

By Maria Reyna
Published on LatinoLA: March 20, 2006

I Have Died Many Times

I just looked at the calendar: Today is Vernal Equinox-The First Day of Spring

Saturday 18th, 2006 was an amazing day for me
I had my first Art Exhibit of my paintings
As usual I was running late, I forgot a few things-but it was beautiful
My paintings looked marvelous on the walls at Tia Chuchas.
Most of my family was there!
My three little Angels..Marisela..Angelo..Julian
Two of my three sisters..my nieces and their children
Senora Trini is such a classy woman..
There were other guest- one of my LatinoLA readers was there.
It felt so good! A feeling I'm now getting use too
I didn't really know what to say when I was introduced and called to the microphone..I hope that I got my point across. I wasn't prepared...but life is that way
I ramble..skip around and cried..I always cry. I will be better prepared next time

I don't know my style of painting. I paint what I feel, what I see, what I want at that moment
This Exhibit is titled " I Have Died Many Times" because I am not the same person I was twenty, ten, five or even a year ago. It is about a long Journey, about self discovery, healing and finding the Artist inside-rediscovering that creative little girl I have always been, that got shoved deep down inside for a long time
She has awoken and is out. She wants to paint..color...write...dance...sing..play...breath and live the best life possible.
Free of shame...guilt..regrets..anger...fear.
Little Maria is now a Woman in her forties, that is becoming the person she is meant to be!

Someone asked me- What got me out of the dark and into the light?
I didn't have a lot of time to think about it-I replied it was mostly my children they need me and my health. I was slowly killing myself by not taking care of myself.
The change started with Forgiveness
I though of that question some more over the past few days-It was not one thing in particular..It has been everything..every event in my life that has brought me to this point in my life! Right now this Moment sitting here writing, painting exhibiting..living in the light...in the present...looking forward to the best life possible!

There was a time when I didn't love myself ..I have gone through some deep depressions that have lasted days, weeks, months, years at a time
I learned to love myself again through my children...to love them.. is to love myself...because they are the best part of me
They need me...I need them more...without them I am nothing

Forgiveness and self love...is very powerful!

I am Thrilled..honored..grateful..and humbled for this opportunity to show my
Art! Muchisimas Gracias senora Trini y Luis Rodriguez
LatinoLA: Thank You for publishing my writings, stories and thoughts.
If you have a chance my painting will be exhibiting at Tia Chuchas
Through April 22, 2006

About Maria Reyna:
Maria Reyna: Painter/Photographer, Poet/Storyteller.
E-mail: Mmiaculpa@aol.com
Website: Mreyna.deviantArt.com

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