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What If There Was No Southern Border?

One way to make our country stronger

By The Ayatollah of Rock and Rolla
Published on LatinoLA: March 30, 2006


What If There Was No Southern Border?


Alright, already. Enough! I was having a good time, minding my own business, staying high on life and music (and whatever), and all sorts of people started contacting LatinoLA looking for me to ask my opinion about the walkouts and the anti-immigration bill.

Since I'm not affiliated with ANYBODY except maybe the Goddess of Ritmo, it took them some time! You may regret your search, but here's what you asked for:

Debate on both sides of the fence. Pro and con. Supporters and dissenters. Democrats, Republicans and a few Independents. Rich and poor. Haves and have nots. Educated vs dummies. Sophisticates vs street homies. Armani vs baggies & baseball hats. English speaking verses Spanish and a whole bunch of other foreign languages. Boxers vs "tan-ta-rans", Blonde hoochies vs Brown hoochi-mamas. Them vs Us...

...Taco Bell vs Jack in the Box. Where will it all end?

I've seen the newscasts, read the newspapers, and witnessed walkouts in two generations, many years apart. I hate being in South Gate, California, during soccer season. I boycott Budweiser during Cinco de Mayo. I don't buy stuff off hockers on L.A. freeway offramps when I go see a Lakers game in downtown L.A. I don't speak with an accent, and my parents aren't from Mexico. I don't have ANY t-shirts with a Mexican flag on them...

I was born in the U.S. I am a U.S. CITIZEN, and a War Veteran. I like English language music, especially West Coast Chicano style. I have worked all my adult life, and spent half my life in the U.S. Military Reserves, waiting for another chance to serve and protect my Country!

I AM A CHICANO!! AND DAMN PROUD TO CLAIM THE STARS & STRIPES AS MINE!!!

Hell, I admit it....I'm an AMERICAN, I VOTE !!! I love my country, and there's nowhere I'd rather be. If you can't agree with me, get out and go back home, if it's so great where you came from! We didn't invite you anyway!

Damn right, I LOVE PANCAKES for breakfast, and I speak fluent Spanish when the time calls for it. I love all kinds of foods, and I don't give a damn who cooks it, or what country it originated from, if it's good and cooked right...I'll have seconds, and take a plate to go, especially if the service is good! I ain't afraid to tip well!

Did you know that the California constitution recognized Spanish language rights. That's right! Spanish was an OFFICIAL, RECOGNIZED language at the time. (Top that, Orange County!!)

For some reason, somebody decided to 86 the Spanish language part. Nobody stopped them. Like the Raiders leaving L.A., and the Angels being re-named the Los Angeles Angels (their original name anyway), Manifest Destiny has come to pass, and the masses were powerless. I wasn't around a hundred years ago, so I can't bitch about it now, can I? Who can I hold responsible if I did? You know it's no fun finding fault if you can't finger somebody to blame, right? It's the American way!

Black folks still lament slavery over 150 years later, and white folks turned on their British masters in 1776 and took over a country that was never theirs to begin with, never said thanks, and still haven't given it back.

So what? What have YOU done for me lately?

I have a lot of white and black friends....so what? My Brown friends outnumber them, but they are still ALL my friends! I'm from East L.A. originally, but if and when I go on vacation to another country, you won't catch me waving an American flag in the face of the locals.

Why? Respect. For them, as well as myself.

Why? Because I said so, dammit, and the Ayatollah has spoken!

Why Ayatollah? When in our history has a 70-something year old white haired religious type guy single handedly backed down warships of the mightiest Country on Earth, and influenced a U.S. Presidential election in a Country that outright hated him, and put it in our face until the day he left this planet?...talk about the ultimate middle finger salute!

Gotta respect a Veterano like that...so I emulate on the identity of character only. (I don't pray to Allah, so don't start trippin' homie!)

Let's cut to the chase...the whole issue revolves on money.

That's right, that green folding paper that pays rent, car payments, school tuition, and political favors. It buys you booze, food, dope, and political favors. It gets you out of jail, makes you look better if you're ugly, pays for toys, clothes and political favors. It gets you out of town, puts you in good light with people you don't know, shuts spoiled kids up, provides luxury for the undeserving who flaunt it, and gets you a political favor or 2.

Did I mention political favors? Hardly ANY politician ever became rich honestly, know what I'm saying? (Even the honest business men practiced dishonest labor standards)

It turns most Latinos around the globe into "Hispanics".

If you are ardent enough to study World history, most wars were started over a Country feeling broke and not liking it. Most political assassinations throughout history were committed by people who felt their lot finacially threatened by the person they took out. Most tyrants and despots throughout the World were poor people when they were young...and they wanted to get even with those who kept them there...and usually did!

So let's stop with all this crying, bitching, moaning, and complaining. Let's make some money and make EVERYBODY happy! Being poor sucks!

Let's make Mexico our 51st State. They're all aready here anyway. Who's gonna man their Army to stop us? Our bankers can whip their bankers anyway!

Let's take it over politically (i.e. let's just outright buy it!) With their vast and virtually untapped resources, we could make a financial killing, keep people in place, and we could all make bucks from foreign tourists and investment! Everybody wins!

Look how we screwed up Hawaii and Puerto Rico(a territory) and Alaska when we did that! Just like California and Texas, WE OWN it! They can't declare war on us, and we collect taxes from them no matter how unhappy they are! That's the American way, baby!

Billions on the tourist trade and souveniers! We could unearth so much uranium we could blow ourselves up along with everybody else in the World 3 times over! (Scares the hell out of terrorists, right?)

We could drain so much oil from Mexico, we could put Saudi Arabia in the poor house.
(By the way, what do all the rich Texas Oil men do with all their Texas oil that made them so rich in the first place?)

Health and sanitation improved for the locals.(Screw disease!) Turn their vast open territories into farmlands, and we won't ever starve and the price of food would stabilize. Have locals construct affordable housing developments inland, and Condo complexes along the beaches, with 7-11's on every corner, and malls in the middle of every neighborhood! Hire and train the locals to police themselves. Educate them locally...hell, Colleges bring in big bucks! Build those too!!

.... and nobody would have to cross a border to find a job, education, or a better life. No more poor Mexicans! They'll all be middle class Americans! White people wouldn't feel so threatened. Hell, they might even join us for a Corona or two! I'll buy the first round!

Another message: KIDS, STAY IN SCHOOL!! STUPID ADULTS BORE ME!! YOU MADE YOUR POINT!

....NOW MAKE YOUR FUTURE!!

THE AYATOLLAH HAS SPOKEN!! ORALE!!



About The Ayatollah of Rock and Rolla:
The Ayatollah of Rock & Rolla is an occasional contributer to this webmagazine, and hopes you will write him in on the ballot at the next U.S. Presidential Election.




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