Surgical Instructions

Approaching a medical procedure with great expectations

By Phil Goldvarg
Published on LatinoLA: July 2, 2002

Surgical Instructions

please leave my kidneys were they are,
don't quiver my liver
or take apart my heart,

don't make my colon a question mark,
I'm not pregnant,
got no stones or mountains in my bladder,

my eyes are doing fine,
I got glasses that work,
so don't attack a phantom cataract,

it's my prostate you're after,
please no laughter
while you're cutting up,

don't do a transplant,
I've got everything I need,
so don't leave me no seed,

this is not a hysterectomy,
so don't try to make history,
I'm content to remain an average statistic,

if I stop breathing,
get the best looking nurse you can find,
for mouth to mouth, without hesitation,

please don't fight with your wife in the morning,
don't want no scalpel
projecting wrath that belongs to her,

and please,
leave my penis where it is!

About Phil Goldvarg:
Poet Phil Goldvarg just got home from prostate surgery, where they caught the cancer early and felt everything went well. He wrote this poem, , and gave it to his two surgeons before surgery. His email: Hgold42734@aol.com

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