We the inmates....errr I mean the inpatients here at the Atascadero Mental State Hospital firmly oppose a full amnesty. George Bush and the Senate is selling out our country to illegal aliens.
We, of course, are sensible and see no harm in granting amnesty to all Hispanic applicants as the country would sink without them.
My brother Thadsley, who lives in Northridge, told me that it was 115 degrees the other day and his pool man and gardeners all showed up to do their jobs.
Who but a Latino would do that?
When Kinko comes back all tied in knots after shock therapy, who would give him a sponge bath until he came back to his senses? Who will give Kinko his Thorazine pills when he hears voices telling him to be naughty?
Well here at the Atascadero State Mental Hospital we have formed a commitee known as the Atascadero Three, composed of yours truly Kinko (class of 2015), Walter Bellhaven (class of 2035) and Herb Sewell (will be granted a parole board hearing anytime after agreeing to chemical castration).
What we are upset about is the possibility of granting amnesty to aliens who have committed alien abductions, cattle mutilations and crop circles.
There have been thousands of abductions of fellow Americans by aliens who have commited horrific experiments on them in their alien space ships.
Thousands of cattle, goats, sheep and other animals have been mutilated by the space aliens.
Millions of dollars in crops have been lost due to this form of 'space grafiti".
Other aliens such as Klingons and Romulans have shown little ability to asimilate into the American culture. Can you imagine Klingons at a Dodger game chomping away on Dodger Dogs? Can you imagine going over for a bar-b-q at the home of Mr. and Mrs. Krzoefoet?
Can you imagine a Romulan watching Jerry Springer or shopping at Wal-Mart? Would you let your daughter marry a Romulan or a Klingon? OF COURSE NOT!
Before you know it there will be a Reconquista of Klingtlan.
So we beg with the readers of LatinoLA to call (202) 456-1111 fax (202) 456-2461 or email email@example.com and let President Bush know that there should be NO AMNESTY FOR ILLEGAL SPACE ALIENS.
Kinko the Clown:
Kinko is not well but should be out by 2015. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org and please state that you are an adult over the age of 18.