So there I was en El Mercadito on 1st Street, listening to el conjunto play "Tragos de Amargo Licor" with Carlos, Miguel, and two other girls. I distance myself from the current conversation, something about Tijuana, to focus on the song that's playing and I start to wonder who could have been the last person que se emborracho por mi and what does that really mean. Carlos notices that my mind wandered off and when he brings me back to reality, I realize I that I had also been thinking about Ricardo, "y me siento como un cobarde que hasta me pongo a llorar". But not in the way the man was singing. So I ask Carlos if somebody had gotten drunk over him and he tells me the story of this one phone call he got by some girl who did I don't know what to forget him. We joke about making it into a tragic poem with a title like "The Call".
There's something about the music, the drinks, the people around me at the moment, the conversations we are having. I feel something different in the atmosphere. I start yearning to dance to this banda-corrido-conjunto music with a hard-working Mexicano with callused hands and toned arms that will grab me by the waist and lead me because I still don't know how to dance banda very well. The type of guy that once twisted and twirled me and held me at Club Tropicana in San Jose. I want to get drunk over someone but don't know exactly who and for what. Yeah, there is Ricardo pero I don't feel anything for him right now. So I start to think about Jorge and how I'm supposed to see him tonite and how this ambiente reminds me a lot of him. I tell Carlos that I didn't want to like this guy but there were so many things that attracted me to him. I think about Jorge and how he'll come over to be with me in the middle of the night, his body taking the place Ricardo once had in my bed. How he'll tell me I look beautiful and how much he wants to please me. So I hurry home and call him but there is no answer. I get this presentimiento that he's not coming over. I then convince myself that I have to go out because I have this banda-corrido-conjunto song in my mind and I really want to dance with someone tonite. I give myself until 10 pm to leave the house.
I take my time taking a bath, doing my hair, my make-up. I carefully pick my clothes and decide to wear a black revealing top, denim mini skirt, and some new black heels with straps that wrap around the ankles. Damn, am I really going to go out alone? At this point, I just don't care. I check the time and it's 10:15pm so I get in my black Impala and take off to anywhere. As I'm driving, I really start to think about Jorge and how much I'm craving him. But he's not answering and I don't want to wait for his call. I drive around El Parral de South Gate and decide to go valet. I tell the parking attendants que estoy alli sola. "No te preocupes, van a ver muchos muchachos que van a querer bailar contigo". And I don't know why but that gets me happy. At the entrance, I'm asked if I want to drink and that reminds me of how I was feeling in El Mercadito. So I say yes and get a band around my wrist. I walk in by myself and go directly to the bar. I order a shot of tequila there and move on to the empty tables next to the dance floor and notice que solo hay girls. I act as if I don't see them and sit down in a place where I'm the only one there. I feel how some girls are looking my way and I hear them say something about how that girl came alone. I pretend that that doesn't matter to me. A couple of guys come to my table promoting some new artist. I smile politely as they leave glossy flyers in my hand. My eyes are now fixed on the dance floor. A couple of girls have started to dance hip hop. One girl in particular stands out. Beautiful thick body, dancing to every single beat, enjoying herself, dancing like a loca. And I wish I could be her, dancing like that on the dance floor. But I lie to myself now because I'm thinking I'm just here to relax, drink and hear some banda music. If I wanted to go dance hip hop, I would have gone somewhere else.
Time passes by and guys aren't coming and the dj seems to play pure hip hop but I want to hear banda. Plus, I'm starting to feel tipsy and I all of a sudden remember that I have to work tomorrow too. So I manage to get some courage to leave my spot with a very confident walk because I know there are girls looking at me and thinking that maybe my date ditched me and they will probably feel sorry for me. I walk outside to ask the parking attendants for my car. They don't want me to go but agree that tonite is rather weak. I leave thinking about hooking up with Jorge. So I call him from my car. I call him when I get home and there's still no answer. So I call him one last time from my bed and decide that I got drunk over him. I leave him a message because ya me siento un poco borracha. So I tell him that, que me emborrache por el and that I wanted to fuck him too. And when I hang up, I just start laughing at what I have done. I then start to think about Ricardo and how my heart is feeling weak and how maybe I should call him. All of a sudden, I really miss him and I really want to do him. I start thinking of all kinds of scenarios. I feel so lonely without him but I stop myself there and check myself porque I know that I'm just drunk, horny and mad because I didn't get some and that I have to get used to it. That it's okay and normal to feel this way. I then forget that I'm alone in my house, that I don't have a man sleeping next to me, that I will wake up sola in the morning. All that doesn't seem to matter anymore. I change into my new white lingerie que iba a estrenar con Jorge and decide to sleep in it because I deserve to make myself feel beautiful even if there's no man to compliment me. I put on the new CD I mixed and fall asleep with Chente on my mind.