Scrappy Needs A Home!
Rear-ending leads to dog-gone dilemma
I have a story for you. A true one, even.
Published on LatinoLA: November 9, 2002
Tuesday evening, I was driving to Sarah's house (the girly) to pick her up for a night on the town. Traffic was nasty, a truck had turned over on Sunset and Highland making the streets pretty thick, baby. I was singing along to my favorite song of the week, "No One Knows" by Queens of the Stone-age, when I was thinking, "Dang, I
I got hit.
No, it wasn't a drive-by, just a little rear ending action.
I was fine (as usual) so I stepped out of my pretty little pick-up and all I saw was a woman crying. At first I thought, "Dang, I'm going to get arrested (again?)", but wait...she hit ME. So I walked over like Travolta and said, "Are you OK?" She wasn't. It was obvious. Very. I looked at Shaneequa (my pick-up) and noticed that the only damage caused by this little shebang was a few scratches on Le Bumper. Cool. I look at La Llorona's coche and I see a cracked grill. Then I saw her. Crying. Then she spoke.
"I hate L.A. I hate this f#@^%&23 town!"
I suspected she might blame me for the accident but not blame the whole freakin' city, ya know?
"People are mean!" Cry, cry, cry. "Damnitdamnitdamnit!" Sob, sob, sob.
I wasn't sure if this was all happening or if I was home watching "Boomtown" with a nice cold can of Pabst Blue Ribbon (Yeah, they still make 'em and I have a case at home). All of a sudden I saw things from her point of view (I'm crying, what the...first thing - wipe them tears, bro). So, I see myself (Wow, I like those pants!) looking at the woman's car. She has packed her entire life in this bumped up Volvo (who said they were the safest cars?). She had books, boxes, clothes and a medium sized pooch in the front seat. One of those grey little numbers with a mustache face. The point is...(yeah, what is the point?) The lady was leaving. She was done with Hollywood and she was going back to Nowhere, Home (her round sunny face made me believe somewhere between Bakersfield and Fresno).
I said, "I'm cool here. I don't need your info. You can go on your way, OK? Just be careful."
She looked at me as if was speaking a different language, one she did not understand. I thought to myself, "Did I say it in Spanish?" Porque tu sabes, I often forget que no todo el mundo me entiende. I am fully aware that the world only revolves around me when I'm lying in bed after a few (7) Jack and Cokes (don't forget to take vitamin B, boyee!).
So, I put my hand on her shoulder and told her to forget about everything and go home.
She kinda smiled and asked me to wait. "You're the nicest person I've met here, I want to give you something."
The wheel of possibilities spun around in my brain. Big money! Big money! C'mon!
Then, I thought of my girlfriend, waiting.
Then, I thought of my girlfriend and this woman together.
Not like that! (Mal pensado!) Just standing together.
She hands me this scruffy little puppy.
"I was going to take her to the pound but now she belongs to you."
WHAT? I can't take this dog! I'm allergic! Look at her, she's scrappy! She's like the dog on Frasier but on crack (and not the good crack I should add). No, no, no!
This is what I should of said. ?Pendejo!
I picked her up and let her lick my face (all the ladies like that).
And I fell in love.
With the puppy, not the woman, the puppy!
I said thank you and wished her good luck as I fished for something wise to say. The only thing I could think of was "Remember, no matter how much you shake it, the last drop always falls in your pants".
So I just said goodbye.
So kids, here she is SCRAPPY!
Scrappy's a Terrier mix (I think). She's at the vet right now getting all her shots and getting taken care of (boarding). She's about four months old, very healthy, very loving and sweet. She's only 14 pounds. She sits on your lap and just falls asleep or licks you to death. I can't keep her. I'm allergic. I really need to find a home for her. Check the picture out and please forward thisto everyone. E-mail me at email@example.com if you'd like to see her in person.
Giovanny Blanco sings with ?Viva Malpache!, plays with Spigga, and hosts LATV Live.