The sky is grey without you in my life.
I wanna see you in my dreams -
with you in my life I have lovely days.
I wanna feel you in my dreams. Reach out and fly.
Having that desperate feeling that makes me want to beg you
just so you see how much I am hurting without you.
I know that you will read this and throw it away
for as long as it took me to write this letter
it will take you a second to read it,
tear it up as If nothing
but I will take that chance
rather than you not know how I am feeling
and letting it eat me up inside.
You bring up the fact that I did so well without you in my life for the past 12 years
and that I will be fine without you in my life once again.
What you don't know is that the day I got married
I couldn't stop thinking of you and I cried alone
wishing that I could talk to you and wishing that my mom was still here.
But, no luck neither of you showed up.
I pretended to be happy but deep inside I was sad
and wished for one split second
that you would have showed up and asked me,
"are you sure you want to get married?"
I do love him but I am and will always be in love with you!
You had my heart the first day we met at that stupid club. Lol
and you carry my heart with you still.....
My heart doesn't work without you
and as dramatic as that seems it's true.
You might think that you are not worth my love or any love for that matter.
But, I've always seen the inner you,
the young guy that I met
and I was like, ya he's cute.
I keep on telling myself the next time I see you
I'm going to really tell you how I feel.
Only to see you the next day and feel that scared horrible feeling
that I get in the pit of my stomach.
To feel my heart shatter when you say words that you can't take back
even though you apologize.
I continue to let you know that you are what matters to me.
For if you were to ask me to choose without "no pressure"
I would choose to be with you without thinking twice.
Life is short and we need to grasp whatever it is
in the palm of our hand.
If not for a lifetime for that one moment
that I know you hide in your heart.
You fight it as if it's something wrong.
Perhaps it's because no one has ever loved you unconditionally the way I do.
I think that's the case with us.
I hate being negative, nasty and down right mean.
Don't bring out the worst in me.
Accept the fact that you are loved, and deserve to be loved, respected and appreciated.
I want to be with you
but for now "it is what it is."
When you and I are together you smile, we joke and we have deep conversations.
Don't be that angry man that has nothing but hate in his heart
and that ugly look you get in your eyes.
Life is short take it with a grain of salt
and just accept that you are being loved with no boundary's,
no questions asked "no pressure"
for being loved and being in love is one of the most amazing feelings
someone can have and something so amazing.
Not everyone can be this lucky!
Being happy is a beautiful thing!
Don't let go of what you know is right.
You might not love me the way I want you to,
or the way I love you.
But, I know in my heart you have learned to love me or care about me
a bit more than you ever have.
I'm a good person and if only you could see what I see.
I'm ready to take on responsibility's
that might not pertain to me
but get it through your head
I'm ready and willing to take that chance if only to stand by your side.