when it hurts so bad

it really hurts

By mia soto
Published on LatinoLA: November 18, 2008

when it hurts so bad

when it hurts so bad
no one told me it would feel like this
I did get many warnings but didn't listen
I believed him when he said, he wasn't using me
Why did I let myself get in to deep?
I'm angry with me for letting him come back into my life
I let myself go and lost myself in him not for him but
with him.... To be in love with a drug addict
I don't know what I was thinking....
I thought I could save him but how could I?
I can't even save myself from me and for that matter
from him.. He put his hands on me and my world fell to
pieces.... he called me names and insulted me
and I thought he cared and loved me? The joke was on me...
It hurts so bad....
I loved him and fell real hard. Instead of working on what I have
I let it all go for someone who doesn't deserve me nor all the love I have to give...
I cry and I cry and no matter what I can't make him love me, I can't make him be with me
I can't make him love himself.... If you've ever been in love you might understand..
But, how could I think he loved me when he put his hands on me
He called me names and hurt me.. Took my self esteem
my self worth my dignity...
How could I think this could be love if all I ever felt was bad
I gave all my heart and wanted to breath only for him....
But who ever knew that it would turn out so bad...
It hurts so bad........
What I need passed me by
and what I didn't want only made me cry and wish I was dead...
that's not love
it hurts so bad!

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