Top 10 Reasons a Latina Won't Head Homeland Security

Chancletas as a weapon of mass destruction

By Al Carlos Hernandez, Contributing Editor
Published on LatinoLA: November 24, 2008

Top 10 Reasons a Latina Won't Head Homeland Security

10. Only gringos in BMWs, Volvos and Saabs would be racially profiled.

9. They may misinterpret the responsibility and try to protect Mexico.

8. Qu?® borders, qu?® nada. We were here first, Cara de Caballos.

7. She could explain to ICE agents what the undocumented hermanos are calling them, causing a huge drop in morael, forcing agents to question their parentage.

6. Mayor Villaraigosa would be envidioso.

5. May crack down hard on Canadians, arresting everyone in plaid shirts at hockey games.

4. Agents may only question attractive people with good jobs, then, collect phone numbers for family members who need novios.

3. With a name like Barack Hussein Obama, a Latina would not let him on a plane.

2. With Latinas keeping everyone under surveillance, we couldn't get away with nothing.

1. Chancletas would be categorized as a deadly weapon.

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