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when you're drained

you can't move forward and don't know where to go

By mia soto
Published on LatinoLA: February 5, 2009


when you're drained


When you feel used and abused
not for the first time but a constant bashing
what do you do?
how does it make you feel?
I know......
you feel used and abused
betrayed and laughed at
"hey look at me the laugh is at my expense"
why is it that we allow for a man or a woman to take hold of
the only thing we can call our own?
why is that we allow a certain someone to
get into the deepest part of our heart and
allow what happens to us from that point on
you try and tell yourself that it's okay to take a punch
because you are stronger than that and you will get up
but what happens when the punches come 10 fold
and you have no time to get up?
broken spirit
broken heart
to lose yourself for someone that doesn't deserve you or
should have you. makes me feel so stupid as I am remembered
every day.
I let it all go for someone and for what?
nothing in return
but empty pockets
no husband
a broken heart that bleeds for someone not worth the air
you breath.
yet i call him my knight and shining armor? seriously what the hell am I thinking
to think that someone who uses you, abuses you mentally and verbally
and gives nothing back in return but an empty tank
that's your knight and shining armor? wow...
once i had it all and even smiled if i wasn't fully happy
today all i do is think about how am i ever going to get out of the whole i'm in?
i have no dignity, self worth, pride and no self esteem. yet once
again I think "he's a keeper" yes, please slap me.....
someone tell me to wake the fuck up and really see that his heart is black
and he will never know what true love is because he let me walk away.....
i got a bag full of bullshit and i hope that soon i will want to sell it to
someone that will buy bullshit by the pound...
i want to stop crying
i want to smile and move on
i want to be assured that i know i can and will be
happy once again
i want the pain to go away
i want him to feel what i feel
i want to die sometimes.... because the pain is so deep....
i've done nothing but cry since
i've gotten nothing but misery....
i want to live again!
but can't seem to find my way out of this black tunnel
can someone please turn the light on!
i want the pain to go away
i want the tears to stop
i want him to realize what he did was not
cool......
drained once again drowning in my tears......

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