The tape keeps playing

By Roxy Moreno
Published on LatinoLA: February 27, 2009


This tape keeps playing and replaying in my head.

The words and the pictures flash like a collage of what I'm sure is almost dead. I know things seem better now, but yet I can't let this day go. The replay of that day keeps playing loud and slow. The words were harsh, there's no way to take them back. The hurt, it's still there, like a knife dug in my back. The words "I love you" just don't mean what they did just a year ago.

And still I stay hoping my mind will erase the replay and let it go.

You never said you were sorry for ripping out my heart. You never took the words back or fixed the broken parts. I kept myself together because I want us to be strong, but I limp like a seedling with no water to help me along. I can keep trying to love you and keep the family going - even though I know it's only rotten fruit we're sowing. The things you said keep playing out in my dreams, keeping me from doing what I once believed. I once said "because of you, I learned to dream again", but my reality is this nightmare, the same replay, again and again.

About Roxy Moreno:
Roxanne Moreno, prefers Roxy, has contributed to LatinoLA under her maiden name Roxanne Acosta. She works as a paralegal in Downtown Los Angeles and writes in her spare time.
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