Why The Rest of the World Hates Us

May God protect the rest of the world from North America

By Rudy J. Cardona
Published on LatinoLA: March 21, 2009

Why The Rest of the World Hates Us

After coming back from Perris, California, I realized why the rest of the world hates us! Yeah, we also have a Perris, but unlike the other Paris, this Perris is a cow town, there is nothing to do, nowhere to go and nothing to see, just dry hills and barren lands and one of the largest State Prison's just minutes away.

It's dry most of the year-there is a lot of greenery now because God decided to piss on Perris. So why go there? I go there once a month for a small business that I have. Business? What kind of business can anyone possibly have in Perris, besides being a parole officer, social worker or an evangelical missionary? Oh well! It's none of your business, what kind of business I have, but it's a legitimate business. So take that, you rest of the world! We also have a Perris, and we are very proud of that!!!

Yeah, the world hates us because we have the freedom to incur all the debt we want to incur as if there is no tomorrow, even if we cannot afford the minimum payments. We are not like Europeans who take three months out of the year and travel around the world expanding their world knowledge; they travel to all continents and countries to see first hand what the rest of the world has to offer. We see those countries on CNN and criticize their backwardness.

We on the other hand, work our ass off year round to pay the inflated mortgage we got ourselves into because we couldn't read the Real Estate Contract. We also have to pay for the SUV we drive alone to work every day, gas, taxes, credit card debt, memberships to gymnasiums we never use, the Big Idiot Screen we sit in front of every day for Bill O'Reilly to tell us what is going on in the rest of the world and at home.

We drive our Hummer two (2) blocks to McDonalds and on the way back stop at 7-11 for coke, chips and beer. Yeah, they hate us because we have all those luxuries everyone else wants and we still have extra cash left over every month to pay for Prozac for ourselves, Ritalin for the kids and Viagra for our parents and grandparents. If that wasn't enough, we have pills to go to sleep, wake-up, get it up, slow down, shit, piss, and Lipitor for high cholesterol instead of eating right. Why eat healthy when you have Lipitor and a new pill for the side effects of all the pills we take, and another one for the side effects of the side effects. Yeah, the rest of the world envies our way of life and that is why they hate us.

The world hates us because the majority of people in this country are obese. We do not walk to the store, post office or even to our relative's home that is one block away. They envy us because we sit on our fat asses and watch sports 365 days a year on the big screen we cannot afford, we buy them now and start paying in 2012, when it no longer works or a new model comes out and we trade it in before we start payments. As if Manny Ramirez' $45 Million Dollar Two-Year contract was going to benefit us in some way or Kobe's 27, 33, 41 or 54 points he may score in any given game. Wow, what will you do with all that knowledge? That is exactly why the rest of the world cannot stand us and think we are stupid and self centered.

Yeah, the world hates us, because we have huge yards and gardeners to take care of them while we sit on our ass accumulating excess pounds watching Excess Hollywood. Even those of us with a yard the size of our small car have a gardener because we are too lazy to do the work ourselves, a yard that can be manicured with tweezers.

We have English Only rules in place, even though the majority of North Americans cannot read, write or speak English fluently. That ought to show the rest of the world how much better we are then those who speak 3 to 7 languages. We cannot pronounce our own last name correctly or the names of our children and the former President of the Free World cannot speak English properly, we do not know that America is a continent not a country, but we can see Russia from our back yard! The world must rally envy us because we are getting royally screwed by our government and we are giving them the OK to screw us royally. Yeah, they hate us because we do not know how to stand up for our rights, we allow our government to tap our phones, reach deep into our pockets and into every form of communications, electronic and otherwise, we stand idle and not say a word. Yeah, we are the free people of the world and that is why the world hates us.

They hate us because we can elect a world class idiot to lead us for eight years, lead us into the mess we find ourselves in, lead us into debt, lead us into unprovoked and unnecessary wars, lead us into a recession and a depression and we stand idle and blame the greedy Wall Street Evildoers and the banks and the CEO's and the whatever's and whomever's. Yeah, we feel really good when we can call someone a towel head, a terrorist, and Arab, a N., an Illegal Alien, or whatever derogatory name we can find. It feels really good to put the blame on the OTHERS, when there are no others because we are the others that's why the world hates us, because we have it so good, and we can spend till our wallets crack, and have and know nothing. They hate us because an immigrant can pass the Citizenship test, even though he/she has only been in this country a very short time, and 75 percent of high school students cannot and neither can the majority of those who call themselves Americans.

They hate us because we have Octo Moms, Super Moms, Supermodels, Super Stars, Super Heroes who have done nothing and Super Sized meals with Pepto-Bismol, Tums and Rolaids. We walk around with $700.00 purses with nothing in them, not even a coupon for a free burger with fries or a happy meal, GPS gadgets that show us how to get from our house to our parent's house even though we born there. Yeah, no one has it as good as we do, and when we get sick, we have to give up our home that took us 30-40 years to pay otherwise they dump us on Skid Row still wearing the hospital gown. Yeah, That's why they hate us.

Every home and every person now has a computer at the tips of their finger. Imagine being able to access and learn anything anywhere just by pressing a button! and all we do is send naked photos of each other, text every step of the way to the mall, check our emails, snail mails and toe nails, LOL, LMOA, T2UL. I have one that we should use, GALALS (Get A Life And Learn Something). We have world knowledge and facts at the tips of our fingers and know nothing. People in third world countries know more about us them we do. How is that possible, maybe we should start hating the rest of the world because they are more advanced then we are, individually.

The world hates us because we have Big Idiot Screens with 1000 channels and nothing to watch, just crap because God forbid that we waste our time on PBS, History Channel, Animal Kingdom or Hewel Houser or anything of significance or value.

They hate us because we do not know how to fix a flat and call AAA to come out and change the tire for us. They hate us because we can throw things away because they got scratched or has a button missing, or we bought it and never used it because we couldn't figure it out. We have garage sales to sell all they crap we have accumulated and mostly unused. Our crap is someone else's problem now. We spend $50.00 for something we never used and sell it for $2 at a Garbage sale. Yard Sale, Garage and Garbage Sale, we have shit to sell, everything and nothing to sell. We sell our souls to have a useless item that is new and magical that everyone wants. We spend the night at retail stores to be the first in line to buy a new gadget, and we get frustrated when we wait one minute at a bookstore or library. Yeah, that's why the world hates us.

A few years ago I worked at a very large firm in the Los Angeles area and one of the bosses paid for a 30 day European trip for some of the workers that had been there for many years. One week into the trip some of them returned because they missed work, they were not used to talking to strangers, there was no McDonalds at every corner, no Jack in the Box or Carl's Jr. So they came home and back to work they went and never took another trip, except maybe to Vegas for a weekend. How pitiful, pathetic, ignorant and stupid we have become. To think that the world hates us because we can do anything and everything and nothing, to think that we are better then everyone else, to think that freedom is having the right to spend beyond your means and take two aspirins and call the doctor in the morning is to think without thinking.

The one reason the world really hates us the most is because we give our daughters breast implants as a high school graduation present, when they are 16 or 17. We want to make sure that they get plenty of it in college or at the mall because they didn't in high school and we wonder why there is so much crime against women in the U.S.A. Don't look at my eyes, look at my boobs and tell me how good and smart I am. Men, we have extend to make us larger, I took it thinking I was going to increase my height, all I got was a headache. Yup, the world should really hate us.

In a few days I'll be in NYC for a couple of weeks. I'll be screening my documentary (MUN) at the United Nations, then off to Vegas for the annual Burlesque show, then a month off this summer to visit a country I have never visited. I'll bring you more news on how the world hates us and why. Things may change now that Obama is President, but don't count on it. The same people that pulled the strings for Bush are pulling them for Obama.

May God Bless America and I am wearing my flag pin (any flag will do, "Americans" won't know the difference), that gives me the right to say what I say. Yes, all of America not just North America and may God protect the rest of the world from North America.

* Can't wait to send you my next report from Piru. Yes! Piru, not Peru, we also have a Piru, not as exiting as Peru but we have one

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