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Perdedores

Two Mexican losers on the loose on the streets of Mexicali

By Alex Higuera
Published on LatinoLA: April 29, 2003


Perdedores


I was with Isaac one bright and sad Friday morning in the hot and drunk city of Mexicali driving through the endless mad faces of emptiness. People in Mexicali have been waiting impatiently for the night so they can go to some dead end night club of some bad-death atmosphere and try to find happiness in a small bottle filled with poison and tears of fallen love.

Yes, Mexicali is like that on Fridays, and don't let anyone tell you other things, unless they have been there.

We brought the newspaper from some kid who didn't get to sleep last night, and handed him 20 pesos so he could go buy some tacos from a nearby taco stand and try to work happy after having some kind of "normal breakfast".

We drove off to go to school slowly to enjoy that kind of morning and talk about usual, about Kerouak, Ginsberg and Mishima, etc. The clouds were a beautiful white and the sky a deep blue. It reminded me a melody of Keiko Matsui?s album Deep Blue.

It was quite alright that morning

I was driving while Isaac turned the page of the newspaper with a shocking tranquility, with analytic eyes sure to bring madness to those who tried to stare at him and question his infinite thoughts.

Isaac turned to the page ?YOUNG GROOVE? in a section where on its cover appeared young beautiful ladies that were in a beauty contest and young male boys, deserving to be put in fashion apparel with European models. All of them had drinks and cigarettes on their hands, fatally smiling upon the crystallized eyes that will capture the triumphant and ephemeral moment of their lives.

I asked Isaac what was his opinion of those faces of young people we didn?t know and this he told me with the most terrifying sarcasm I have ever listened to:

'"It's young people that represent my values, my desires, my same ideals. They motivate me to stay at my house and read some crappy motivational books. I see their beautiful faces and I know I'm as beautiful as them?I feel they are my great family and I know they are my beautiful brothers and I know they too think of me as their beautiful and beloved brother."

We laughed for about 5 minutes without stopping.

Isaac and I passed through the parking lot of the university and talked about many things. Isaac opened his mouth and everything that came out was poetry filled with anger and lights of fluorescent colors that strongly shined between the light of that morning.

The time came as he saw all of the students go in front of us were he paraphrased a poem by Benedetti:

"My god, you don?t give me the opportunity to see the sweet face of Veronica between these gray and pale faces that are like a mirror that reflects my own emptyness."

We felt like losers in a rare winning streak when thinking about love. I think of Mary my love often and of Isaac thinking and writing crazy poetry at nights with the image of Veronica in his mind."

Sometimes there is no story in life but life itself is more than a story, and in my society where love is fading like a whisper in the night I think of love as a sooner reality where happiness is just some tears away.

Love doesn't want to love anymore.

Losers 'cause we're in love.



About Alex Higuera:
Alejandro Higuera, 24 years old, is a student at Mexicali?s UABC. He recently finished his book "MEDIOCRE" and is currently waiting to get it published by some risky editorial company.




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