As I read the list of the newest contestants on ABC's 13th season of Dancing With The Stars, I wasn't all that impressed. I mean, I was yawningÔÇª until I saw that J.R. Martinez, a soap opera actor on ABC's "All My Children," did I perk up. I mean, probably he was added to the new group in an effort to help fulfill ABC's diversity quota, but maybe he'll go on to win.
DWTS returns on Monday, September 19th, with a Fall season lineup of spandex-sporting contestants that's as bewildering as ever.
Joining J.R. are none other than:
ÔÇô Nancy Grace, TV blonde who rants about white trash murders.
ÔÇô David Arquette, better known as a Howard Stern guest than an actor.
ÔÇô LA Laker Ron Artest, changing his name to "Metta World Peace".
ÔÇô Chaz Bono, the former woman turned man who's here for random curiosity.
ÔÇô Elizabetta Canalis, George Clooney's dumped girlfriend.
ÔÇô Kristin "Drama Queen" Cavallari ,the Reality TV bimbo.
ÔÇô Rob Kardashian, least interesting Kardashian.
ÔÇô Carson Kressley, who needs a new agent for signing him this gig.
ÔÇô Ricki Lake, coming out of who-knows-where.
ÔÇô Singer Chynna Phillips, married the least interesting Baldwin brother.
ÔÇô Hope Solo, Soccer player promoting her nude spread in ESPN The Magazine.
Before becoming an actor, J.R. (Jose Rene) Martinez, was a military man, a soldier in the Army. In 2003, while serving in Iraq, he was injured with severe burns to over 40 percent of his body while driving a Humvee that hit a landmine. Instead of letting his injuries destroy his life, he turned it into a positive by becoming a motivational speaker and eventually landing the role of Brot Monroe in ABC's soap drama "All My Children."
J.R. Martinez is a survivor, hero, actor and our choice to take the tacky mirror-ball trophy!